The raptor herald



Smack!  The front legs of my chair leave the floor, my hands pop off the laptop keyboard; I jerk backward. A split second, then a tinkling sound ripples over my left shoulder. I turn and look: in the storm window beside me fissures radiate outward as if pushed by an invisible hand.  Something’s struck the plate glass almost dead center.

I’m out the door---scanning the front porch for a clue, but the missile lies farther away.  On the lawn a small hawk rests belly down, tipped onto one shoulder where the wing meets his brown speckled body. He quivers to right himself and then hazards a hesitant, off-kilter walk. A slow taxi to lift off and he’s gone. 

My storm window? The oversized sheet of glass, maybe four foot by five, is one of two that cover twin dining room windows, and probably custom made for my fifties house in Mott Park. With my index finger I trace the cracks from the outer edge of the glass to a tiny pinprick at the center of the pane. Incredibly, no fragments have fallen out.

I called Flint Glass Company (once Koerts Glass on Dort Highway for Flintoids).  Billy, grandson of the owner I knew years ago, drove from Flushing to take down the wood frame.  Two weeks later he returned with the storm window re-glazed and snapped it back into its much-painted metal hinges.  One hinge of the four is missing, but the frame holds.

The hawk event was seven years ago, just about the time I retired.  I think of it now as the herald of my bird watching years.  I’m late to this sublime pleasure. Birder friends have tutored me; maybe my raptor had been a young migrant gone astray?  These folks know the seasonal patterns---the first robin in March, the juncos in winter.  Their feeders attract coveys of fluorescent yellow finches; they sight northern flickers, indigo buntings, real bluebirds.

I marvel at what I have missed.

I grew up in northern California where my eyes were fixed on the ground, the clay, rock and brown grass of summertime. Our house was on a hillside and we had few neighbors.  I paid attention to gopher snakes and garter snakes.  Rattlesnakes turned up some years (we didn’t talk about climate change then).  As a kid of seven or eight, I knew to look where I stepped.

I remember the nodding heads of California quail and grating screech of the western blue jays that everyone called mean, but what were the little birds they bullied? No idea.  An owl roosted in a crooked pine tree outside the bedroom windows, a comfort to me at night. It sounded something like a Great Horned owl, so I’ve ascertained online, six decades later. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Great_Horned_Owl/sounds    

My hometown, Mill Valley, was lucky to have a passionate nature educator named Elizabeth Terwilliger. She promoted love of nature for sixty years and her environmental activism preserved many local sites.  In her broadbrimmed sun hat, “Mrs. T.” visited grade schools and led field trips to awaken kids’ interest in nature.  Generations of school children learned about the birds, marshlands, and butterflies of Marin County. https://www.marinmagazine.com/elizabeth-terwilliger/

But by sixth grade I was transferred to a Catholic school where I learned French and poetry and not about nature. Decades later when my son was crazy about dinosaurs and together we practiced pronouncing their names, I somehow I missed their evolutionary connection to birds. Archaeopteryx, missing link between birds and reptiles, lost out to Tyrannosaurus rex.  

My partner, Dennis, once an avid hunter of dove in the California desert and wild turkey in Missouri woods, is now a bird watcher. Hunting taught him about dove, our most frequent birds, and he explains their ground feeding and roosting habits to me. Driving the expressway in Michigan he notes the woods and thickets that must be full of turkeys.

I have Stan Tekiela’s The Birds of Michigan field guide, a first edition bought at Young and Welshans twenty years ago for my mother, then newly transplanted to Flint from the west coast. I watched her shriek in 80-year old delight when she spotted a northern cardinal on the backyard shed in the snow. A few years later, bedridden and in hospice care, she could see birds flutter at feeders; we watched together when she could no longer speak.  

Birds of Michigan organizes species by color, a system of “mostly” black, “mostly” brown, and “mostly” blue.  At first the term “mostly” reassured me, but I grew baffled by the number of dun-colored females that turn up in different sections.

I moved online and found the Cornell Ornithological Labs with its chart of bird silhouettes and learned the first identification step: size and shape. The robin is both a kind of thrush and a handy gauge of size (“is it larger or smaller than a robin?”)  Clicking on the few species I know, I learned that tits and titmice are grouped with chickadees, that the cardinal is a kind of finch, that blue jays are related to crows, and that the starlings that carpet the lawn after a rain belong with blackbirds like the red winged blackbird, grackle, and brown-headed cowbirds.

The Cornell site confirmed that a young broad-winged hawk probably hit my window, perhaps gone astray from his kin or “kettle,” en route to Canada in spring.  The mailman on my street, Nick, hails from Alaska; he knows about birds and wildlife and alerts the neighborhood Facebook page when he sights bald eagles that soar above the Mott Park Recreation Area (https://mpraa.net/).

Summer mornings I wake to the sounds of bird song.  I pour wild finch seed into an old terra cotta saucer on the ledge of my front porch.  The quiet, routine task allows my last pre-conscious dream life to filter into the beginning of the day.  The birds are small and plump, and I recognize them now as black capped chickadees. They don’t look like they need my cheap seed, but I cherish the peaceful satisfaction their feeding brings me.   

The birds swoop in and land in a clump, then squeak and shove until four or five feed at a time.  Those that don’t make it to the saucer busy themselves on the ledge with the seeds the victorious ones scatter.  A squabbling rotation with chest puffery and fluttering wings and the first feeders dart off and a new set of three or four wedges in. When the seed is mostly gone, a single outlier bird hops into the center of the saucer and picks at the powder and hulls remaining.

I bought a tubular finch feeder and the variety of birds has picked up. Red winged blackbirds and  downy woodpeckers try their luck at the small holes. Next door, a rusted old TV arial never dismantled by an aging neighbor attracts birds at 32 feet. In the evening a large woodpecker drums on its hollow metal poles like an avian head-banger.

Neighborhood cats prowl. The first was Ralphie, a hefty marmalade-colored veteran with yellow eyes placed a bit too close together. Confident in his weight and age, he’d lumber along the perimeter of my backyard lawn in that cautious way of cats, wary of open space.  Not needing the food of nature, he still practiced the habits of his species. Since Ralphie’s family moved away, a young, lean tiger-stripe appears on my porch in the morning.  Eyes fixed on the finch tube, he stretches his body upward, gauging the distance to the feeder.  He once succeeded; I found the feathers.   

Backyard bird feeding is a modern pastime, dating in America from Thoreau who scattered old corn to see what animals would appear outside his hut at Walden Pond in 1845. The first Audubon society appeared in 1895 and ardent bird lovers crusaded against the use of feathers in belle epoque hat wear.  Commercial bird feeders were marketed in the 1920s and field guides like Audubon and Peterson appeared in the 1930s linking amateur enthusiasts with ornithologists.

With the postwar housing boom new generations gained a lawn to mow, a yard to garden, and birdseed in the grocery store. In 2001, the United States Fish and Wildlife Service calculated that some 52 million Americans feed birds. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1472-4642.2007.00439.x

But the environmental movement that emerged in the 1960s and 1970s has schooled us in the potential negative, even disastrous, effects human activity can bring to the planet and all its life. Our interaction with nature cannot be neutral. Current studies consider how supplementary feeding affects bird species. (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-019-10111-5). 

Each evening I shake out the hulls in the saucer and

unhook
 the finch feeder, usually overdue for cleaning---

every two weeks is the guideline.
  In summer twilight, days

before the solstice, birdsong rises on the west side of the

house, piercing the warm living room air even when the TV

blares at prime time. The urgency of the birds’ calls alerts me

to the end of day; sometimes I hear a kind of panic in their

sounds.


This essay originally appeared in East Village Magazine, April 2019.


Tai chi



“Breathe from the diaphragm,” says Beverly, my tai chi instructor. “Clear your mind; try to go  slowly,” she reminds us before we begin. We never go slowly enough.  

We stand in two rows in a large room, the dining hall in a senior center. Some wear the thin-soled martial arts slippers that help in tai chi’s turns and kicks, glides and slides.

Through its floor-to-ceiling windows a hummingbird jabs at the orange and purple blooms on stalks of bird of paradise that edge the building. Across the grass between the fig and palm trees I can glimpse the gray blue Pacific in the distance; when the doors are open we can hear the muffled clang of the bell buoy.

This is January on the south bay coast west of Los Angeles, not Michigan. I get distracted.

We bow and then raise our outstretched arms to clasp our left hand over our right fist, the tai chi salute.  At some point in the next half hour---if I can corral my wandering thoughts---my mind will float away from my body.

Part of tai chi’s allure for me has been the promise of settling the mind, but I’ve come to love the exercise, how it feels in my body.  

I first learned about tai chi through a class taught one semester at the UM-Flint Rec Center. I learned about “the empty leg” and how to “sink the chest.” Different concepts and techniques after years of yoga. I found Youtube videos and began to follow articles online.

My first winter in southern California, I saw a group of twenty or so people in a nearby park moving in slow motion like the video I’d watched. I looked up the park activities online, but the tai chi group had disbanded. Another group met in a different park, but it was too far to drive. I checked Meetup---more than a dozen tai chi groups were listed but all were nearly an hour away. This is Los Angeles.

Then by chance I stopped in at a nearby senior center and saw a flyer for a tai chi class taught there, a weekly session in something called “the Yang style long form.”

I joined a group of eight learners---the oldest one turns 90 this year and another, aged 83, walks with a cane. For an hour on Thursday mornings we move silently through a routine that requires ten kicks standing on one leg, several with turns on one foot.

No one has ever fallen. We don’t kick very high.

The Yang style long form turned out to be a series of 103 moves (or more, depending on how they are counted), many with flowery names: grasp the bird’s tail, play the lute, repulse the monkey, fighting tiger, fair lady works the shuttles, the snake creeps down, the golden cock stands on one leg.

I see the brushstrokes of a Chinese painting.

Don’t be fooled. Tai chi is an internal martial art practiced for health and relaxation, but its full name, tai chi ch’uan, can be translated as “Supreme Ultimate Fist.” Basic moves like “ward off” and “parry and punch” come from combat and self-defense, but those with the flowery names do also. Beverly reminds us: you are blocking, you are striking, you are kicking an opponent. Keep space between your feet so you won’t be knocked off balance.    

Tai chi’s modern history is traced to Chen village in Wenxian County, Henan Province, in central China. A 17th century warrior and master of martial arts named Chen Wangting is credited with creating tai chi. 

The art remained in Chen family and their village for centuries.  People came to the village to learn the art (and still do today). An outsider named Yang Lu-chan (1799-1872) learned the Chen practice and developed the style that is named after him. More styles developed from the Chen form. You can find a bewildering tree of lineages of tai chi styles in Wikipedia.

During China’s Civil War many traditional tai chi teachers emigrated or ceased activity, but in 1949 the People’s Republic government established the Chinese Sports Committee. The Committee developed hybrid forms of tai chi that were easier to learn and practice and promoted group tournament; the government encouraged public practice.[i]

Tai chi spread in America in the wake of the martial arts interest that exploded in the 1970s. Boomers have embraced tai chi for health; the Mayo Clinic recommends it to reduce stress and some hope its practice will prove beneficial against Alzheimer’s.

Each class tests me---how much of the entire form will my body remember?  I’ve got the short opening section down pat, melded into my muscle memory. I’m doing better with the middle section; sequences of moves repeat and sometimes if I can remember the one arm or leg go, the next moves will come to me. At some point in the third and longest section I will sneak a glance at Beverly; where are we? Did I miss “snake creeps down”?

It takes our group 30 minutes or more to do the entire Yang long form. If we go slowly enough. When we finish we repeat the salute and bow. We clap for our instructor and ourselves. For a few moments my arthritic body feels light and fluid again.

Even when my kicks on one leg wobbled or I forgot half of the last section, I feel satisfaction.  Even if my errant mind got distracted, I am peaceful.

Real devotees say you can practice tai chi anywhere.  Allen Ginsberg dedicated a poem to his tai chi master. It turned out to be a wry commentary about practicing in his in a tiny Manhattan apartment and it’s recorded on video.  

The first stanzas go like this: 

Bend knees, shift weight
Picasso’s blue deathhead self portrait
tacked on refrigerator door

This is the only space in the apartment
big enough to do t’ai chi

Straighten right foot & rise–I wonder
if I should have set aside that garbage
pail

Raise up my hands & bring them back to
shoulders–The towels and pyjama
laundry’s hanging on a rope in the hall

Push down & grasp the sparrow’s tail

Those paper boxes of grocery bags are
blocking the closed door

Turn north–I should hang up all
those pots on the stovetop

Am I holding the world right? That
Hopi picture on the wall shows
rain & lightning bolt

Turn right again–thru the door, God
my office space is a mess of
pictures & unanswered letters

I better concentrate on what I’m doing
weight in belly, move by hips
No, that was the single whip–that apron’s
hanging on the North wall a year
I haven’t used it once
Except to wipe my hands–the Crane
spreads its wings have I paid
the electric bill?[ii]

Yeah, Allen, not enough space and too many distractions at home for me too. But the poem consoles me. Each week I join my tai chi friends in warm expectation; I see the ocean and hear the muffled clang of the bell buoy.  We bow, raise hands and salute, we try again.




[i] Qi gong, Chinese medicine’s ancient system of physical exercises and breathing control (and used for tai chi training) also came under state regulation.



Note: Last Saturday in April is World Tai Chi and Qi Gong Day.



This is essay also appeared in East Village Magazine, https://www.eastvillagemagazine.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/EVM-04.2019.pdf


The raptor herald

Smack!   The front legs of my chair leave the floor, my hands pop off the laptop keyboard; I jerk backward. A split second, then a tinkli...